Children seem to start bullying at a VERY young age. I have seen this when my daughter was only 2 years old and in daycare and children were hitting each other. I know what you are saying, that's not bullying, that's kids being kids. Well it starts with something so mild as a push or a hit and once they realize they can gain power that way, it escalates.
WHAT IS BULLYING?
Dan Olweus, creator of the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program, provides us with this commonly accepted definition for bullying in his book, Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do:
"A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself."
This definition includes three important components:
1. Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves unwanted, negative actions.2. Bullying involves a pattern of behavior repeated over time.
3. Bullying involves an imbalance of power or strength.
I was bullied in my neighborhood when I went out to play and on the bus. What was your experience?
WHAT DOES BULLYING LOOK LIKE?
Bullying can take on many forms. As part of the Olweus Bullying Questionnaire, students are asked if they have been bullied in any of these nine ways:
1. Verbal bullying including derogatory comments and bad names
2. Bullying through social exclusion or isolation
3. Physical bullying such as hitting, kicking, shoving, and spitting
4. Bullying through lies and false rumors
5. Having money or other things taken or damaged by students who bully
6. Being threatened or being forced to do things by students who bully
7. Racial bullying
8. Sexual bullying
9. Cyber bullying (via cell phone or Internet) Learn more
I was called brace face or fatso or four eyes, and socially excluded by some girls in high school. What was your experience?
WHY DO PEOPLE BULLY?
1. Students who bully have strong needs for power and (negative) dominance.
2. Students who bully find satisfaction in causing injury and suffering to other
students.
3. Students who bully are often rewarded in some way for their behavior with
material or psychological rewards
THINGS TO LOOK FOR IN A BULLY--
- Get into frequent fights
- Steal and vandalize property
- Drink alcohol and smoke
- Report poor grades
- Perceive a negative climate at school
- Carry a weapon
HOW DOES IT EFFECT YOUR CHILD?
- Depression
- Low self-esteem
- Health problems
- Poor grades
- Suicidal thoughts
http://www.life123.com/parenting/tweens-teens/bullying/school-bullying.shtml
Keep the lines of communication open between you, your child, and the school if applicable.
Some of you may already know that I am a teacher. I have seen children being bullied and have used the following website to help me intervene. The webisodes on the website are a good tool for opening discussions.
http://www.stopbullying.gov/
I always start the school year with a bullying lesson and let the children know that I DO NOT tolerate bullying of any kind. We are a family in my classroom and we will treat each other that way. In doing this blog I also found a school based, researched peace program that I am going to write a grant for. :)
You would think things get better as you get older but I think the form of bullying just changes. I have been bullied by co workers who did not want my opinions because I was younger and new to the profession.
http://www.baselinemag.com/c/a/Intelligence/Office-Bullies-Make-Work-Hard-372093/?kc=GOOBA051711OBWWHSS&pid=adult%20bully&gclid=CKer79KUmKoCFaZx5QodhQYcyA
This site also includes a ppt about office bullying.
I hope this helps you understand bullying and how to handle it a little better.
Communication is key!
Thanks,
Dawn
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